Heroes: New Year Special

Me: As the new year has come, we look at some of our fondest memories of the last…

Night: Right! Last year sucked ass! Let’s see there were millions of people losing their jobs, the world economy was in a rut, there were protests against Wal-Mart…

Me: I said the good things!!

Night: Oh, right.

Me: Anyway, here we have the story of last nights New Year’s Eve Party.



The “Heroes” New Year Special


Ikokoro: PAAAAAAAAARTYYYY!!!!

Radio: Just 2 more hours until the new year everybody, and boy what a crowd we have down here tonight, lemme tell ya’…

Warren & Kane: CHUG!! CHUG!! CHUG!! CHUG!! CHUG!! CHUG!! CHUG!! YEAAAAH!!!

Squirth: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!! Ahhhh.

Meanwhile out on the front porch…

Night: God I hate these New Year parties. They suck! Nobody even really gives a shit what it’s about! They just need an excuse to get drunk! sigh.

Sumner: Come on Night! Join the party!!

Night: Naw, I’m fine sis.

Sumner: Come on really!!!

Night: NO!!! You know I hate it for chrissakes!!

Sumner: Okay fine. I’ll just tell Charlotte you DON’T want to dance with her.

Night: That’s right- Charlotte? Hey wait up Sumner!! *runs inside*


Somewhere high in a tree over the house party…

VL: Hmm, even Night went in. Must be quite a celebration going on in there.

Squirth: VL!

VL: Huh?

Squirth: VL, are you up there?

VL: Squirth?!

Squirth: VL!! BUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!

VL: Oh god, you’ve been drinking haven’t you?

Squirth: N-no. Chugging!

VL: sigh. Typical, Squirth.

Squirth: Hey, come on! Spend some *hic* quality time with your *burp* little bro.!

VL: Meh, no thanks, you smell like alcohol even from way up here!

Squirth: Come on!

VL: NO!!

Squirth: *starts shaking tree*  COME OOONN!!!

VL: *being shook around* Da-a-a-a-mit yo-o-o-u fuck-k-ing tur-t-l-le!!!

Tyrah: *comes outside* What are you two yelling about out here?

VL: Make this de-e-e-e-mon seed of a tur-t-t-le stop shaki-I-I ng my treeeee!!


It’s pretty crazy right now! But I guess that’s what you should expect at a New Year’s Eve House Party! Let’s take a closer look at what’s going on in this upstair bedroom…


Ash: Oh…Oh yes!!

Warren: *has his ear up against the door* (think : is she doing…what I think she’s doing in there?! o_o

Ash: Oh yes! This pillow is soooo comfy!

Warren: (think : I guess not )

Spike: Warren, what are you doing?

Warren: Errrr… nothing just listen to Ash! Uhhh, gotta go! *leaves running*

Spike: Wha? *put’s ear to the door*

Ash: Mmmm yes oh yes! It feels soooooo good!!!!

Spike: !! *nosebleed*


Back with Night and Sumner…

Night: So Charlotte really wants to dance with me Sumner?!

Sumner: Nah! I just said that to make you come inside! But you could ask her!

Night: You mother fuc- You know what? That’s not a bad idea!

Sumner: Your welcome!

Night: I Still hate you for tricking me though! See ya! I gotta find Charlotte! *leave Sumner*

Sumner: Psssh, my brother is such a geekazoid!

Ikokoro: That’s exactly what I think! Kan I go kill him?

Sumner: NO!

Ikokoro: Why not?!

Kane: Because dude! That’s her bro.!

Ikokoro: But she hates his guts!

Kane: When did she say that man?! Night is her only still known to be living relative! She loves him to death!

Ikokoro: So I kan’t kill him, kan I?

Kane: Nope, and stop talking like you’re Mortal fucking Kombat! Jesus!!


Outside at the tree…


VL: You’ve been standing there, asking me to come hang out with you for the past hour and a half!! When will you get the fucking message??!?!?!?

Squirth: When I’m sober.

VL: rrrrAAAHFHRFGEEHWJ!!!!!! I HATE YOU, YOU GODDAMMED TURTLE!!!! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE YOU CRAZY ASSHOLE!!!! I’D RATHER BE FORCE FED GLASS SHARDS THEN HANG OUT WITH YOU!!!!!!!

Squirth: So, we aren’t gonna hang out?

VL: NO WE AREN’T!!!!! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!!!!

Tyrah: VL you should be glad he isn’t going to remember any of the things you’re saying to him now in the morning!! I mean really!! He’s your little brother!!! He’s the only living family you have that’s still alive! Besides Vell, but he doesn’t count because Dark practically controls him!!

VL: …


Back at the bedroom…


Ash: Yes, yes. yes OOOOOOHHHH!!!

Spike: (think : That’s it!! Whoever is fucking Ashley is about to get a major ass kicking!!!!!) *breaks down door* HYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!

Ash: AAA!!! Spike!!

Spike: Huh? *sees only Ash and pillow* Uhhh….was there any one in here making love to you a couple seconds ago?

Ash: WHHAAAATATAAAA?!?!?!?!?!

Spike: Errr….no?

Ash: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM??!?! WHY SHOULD I EVEN TELL YOU IF THERE WAS OR NOT?!?!?!?

Spike: (think : I has never seen a woman PMS this bad….)


Meanwhile, it’s 11:45pm, and apparently Night still hasn’t  found Charlotte…


Night: *running, looking for Charlotte*  Errgh…Where could she be?! I need to find her!! This is the perfect chance for me to tell her how I really feel!!

ReyRey: Hey Night! Happy New Year…almost!

Night: ReyRey! Have you seen Charlotte anywhwere?! I need to find her…NOW!!!

ReyRey: Um, yeah I kinda saw her…no, wait… ummm

Night: Nevermind. I’ll catch ya later! *start running again*

ReyRey: Oh yeah! She went to- Night?

Night: Where is she?! Huh?-

Radio: And now the final countdown! 5!… 4!…

Night: Oh no! I’m too late!!

Radio: 3!… 2!…


Night: One…


Whoa, hold up! Let’s go back 15 minutes to Sumner and see what she did in the final minutes before midnight…

Sumner: sigh.

Kane: What’s wrong Sumner?

Sumner: I just really want to be able to have a happy new year with my brother. But the thing is, we never get along, but he doesn’t know how much I really care about him…

Kane: Well, you’ll just have to try harder this year.

Sumner: Yeah, I guess so. Come on let’s go party the year away!!


And what about VL?

Tyrah: Why do you have to be such a stuck up asshole to him all the time hm?

VL: I just really want to be able to have a happy new year with my brother. But the thing is, we never get along, but he doesn’t know how much I really care about him…

Tyrah: But…you just said you wanted to rip his lungs out…?

VL: Yeah but, In a brotherly love way.

Squirth: Come on VL! It’s not to late! We still have 5 whole minutes!

VL: Oh great, and your drunk out the ass!!

All of them: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!


Well at least they had a happy ending! But…what about Spike?!


Spike: Look Ash, I’m sorry…

Ash: Oh sorry??!?!

Spike: Yeah well, I thought you might be getting raped…

Ash: You just said I sounded like I was having a great time!! Now, if I was getting raped, do you think I would sound like I’m having a good time?!??!?! And another thi-th- t- zzzzzzzzzzzz…

Spike: She…she passed out…well I guess her weirdness is good for something after all!


Well everyone it looks like Night lost out on love again! And Sumner gonna have to spend more time with her little bro! But other than that, things are going pretty good for all the Heroes! So, HAPPY 2009!!!!